I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
