youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
