what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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