Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
