Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
