Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
