she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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