my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
false alarm, still single
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
