they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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