This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
