Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
