I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
