I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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