I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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