Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
don't judge my taste in strippers
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
