Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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