adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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