I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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