I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
