i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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