NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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