Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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