Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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