big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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