I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
