U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
