She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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