so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
