the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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