he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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