On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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