Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
