these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
