I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
