Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
