I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
