True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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