He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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