we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
you had me at cake vodka
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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