dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
