I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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