Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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