Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
