Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
There's always time for handjobs
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
