there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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