I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
