I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
