lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
