He is an equal opportunity slut.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
