I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
