The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
