god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
