Acid is not a monday night drug
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
