Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
