Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i would punch a child for taco bell
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
