My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
