yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
