Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
