We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize