some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
