I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
