So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
