Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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