id be glad to
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
