dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize