I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
