Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
