found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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