she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
