I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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