My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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