I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
