Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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