Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
