Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
