I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
