i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well I just put wine in my tea
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I woke up under a house in Key West
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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