What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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