I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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