Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
This baby is an asshole
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
